Origin story
We asked the question every guilty plant owner avoids: how long until your houseplant dies?
It started after yet another “low-maintenance” succulent turned into a crunchy science project. Between late meetings, forgotten watering schedules, and one too many weekend trips, we realized plant care wasn’t failing because people are careless — it’s failing because modern life is chaos.
So we built a brutally honest calculator that turns plant neglect into something you can laugh at, share, and actually fix. Dark humor is the hook; better habits are the sneaky win.
Mission
Make plant care feel less like a chore and more like a self-aware meme — without killing anything in the process.
Why we’re doing this
- Plant guilt is real, but it doesn’t have to be lonely.
- Humor makes hard truths easier to face — and share.
- Knowing your odds is step one to beating them.